A Rude Awakening
by Random Dent
Summary: *Hobbitslash* Silly - Frodo awakes once more in Rivendell...


Disclaimers: JRRT owns everything...  
Warning: HOBBIT SLASH!  
Story notes: A very silly awakening from Frodo's POV. Its got an abrupt ending because the story just reached its logical conclusion.   
  
Ohgod ohgod ohgod. Head. Hurts. Lots and lots.  
  
Why?  
  
Hmmm. Ring? No, ring headache all in one place, not feel like brain has been replaced with warmed lead. So not ring. Ringwhatsis blade? No, think that was in shoulder, yes, ow, scar still nasty and painful, if that is shoulder and not in fact head. Not sure.  
  
Risk opening eyes...  
  
Aargh, nonononono. Gone blind. Argh. Head exploding. Must be in terrible torture chamber where have put tiny imps with iron clogs to tap dance round inside my head.  
  
This probably not true.   
  
Perhaps open one eye, slowly..  
  
Owwww...  
  
OK, torture chambers not so many trees. Is horribly loud noise though. Nasty horrible noise. Coming from trees. Hate breeze. Hate imps in head. Wait, had decided imps didn't exist. Still hate them though. Something else, something needing attention here. Hmm. Ahah. Really, really need to visit bathroom. Not risking opening the other eye though.  
  
Location of bathroom, location of bathroom. Probably impolite to pee in elf laundry cupboard. But not sure. Elves very strange.  
  
Obstacles in bed, in bedroom. Try standing up. Eurgh. Bad plan. Crawling better plan. But have remembered where bathroom is. Ahah. Bathroom...  
  
Better, unless that was elf laundry cupboard. Too late now anyway.   
  
Argharghargh. Sun come out. Close eyes. Crawl back to bed. Sleep is good, gives imps chance to go away...  
  
Something wrong here. Bed all lumpy. Going to have to risk opening eye again. Try the other one for change. Oooooohr, nasty light. Lump in bed is Sam. Arghwisnfgl? Why? Good thing, yes, but bad thing if everything gone horribly wrong. Wait - OK. Sam in own bed in morning normal. Would be worrying if not there. Good. Must not wake him, clogdancing imps probably infectious.  
  
Wait. Other lumps in bed. Merry. Why Merry in bed? Pair of hairy feet. Why feet in bed? Wait - owner of feet will be at other end of legs. Pippin. Sleep now...  
Wait, wait, wait. All wrong. Sam in bed - normal. Sam and Merry and Pippin in bed not normal. Oh don't care, sleep.  
  
*********  
  
"Frodo!"  
  
Stop shaking, will be ill. Still in dream will go away.  
  
"Frodo wake up!"  
  
Possibly could risk opening just the one eye. "Sam?" Why is he looking at me like that? Do I look that rough? Probably. Clogdancing imps are only wearing pit boots now, a little improvement...  
  
"What happened last night?"  
  
Good question. * Accessing memories for field 'Last Night'. Files found: Large amounts of drinking; some kissing of Samwise; okapis. * Okapis? What? Nothing after about 10 'o' clock? * Files for after 10 'o' clock: okapis. * Fairly sure can't have been okapis. Ohno. Remembered. Found Merry and Pippin in bed this morning. Ohnoohnoohnooooooo...  
  
"I don't know what happened..."  
  
"What about them?"  
  
Ahah. Merry and Pippin still in bed, still asleep. Wonder where Merry got the elf shield? And purple feather boa. Not his colour. No okapis, slightly relieved. Need to know what happened..  
  
"Do you think we...?"  
  
"They are here with no clothes on."  
  
Hate logical deductions. Also hate clogdancing imps, okapis and Sauron. In that order. Must be other explanation. Can't have shagged two biggest sluts in Shire. Have higher standards than that even when pissed. Do like cousins, but know where they've been. Ohnooo, mental image, bathrooooommm...  
  
Eeeeuuuurgh. But feel a bit better now. Also was bathroom previously, not elf laundry cupboard. Good thing. Oh dear. Made Sam sick. Bad thing. Probably though alcohol making Sam sick, feel less guilty. Water. Good thing for both of us.   
  
Mnnnnn. Sam sitting on bathroom floor, no clothes, all rumpled. Very Nice. Wait - sudden movement creating vomiting. Second thoughts, bad plan, standing very still and thinking very un-naughty thoughts a better one. Would help this process if he put some clothes on. Aha! A plan forms...  
  
"They must have drunk more than we did. If we get dressed and pretend nothing happened, then if they wake up and can't remember they'll think nothing did happen."  
  
"So you think we did...?"  
  
"I don't know, I don't think I would."  
  
"I know I wouldn't"  
  
This a really inappropriate time for naughty thoughts about Sam. Neither of us in fit state for any of them, especially not the one with the peaches. Unless elves have really good hangover cure... 


End file.
